


Starving Wolves

by Strange and Intoxicating -rsa- (strangeandintoxicating)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Blood, F/F, F/M, Gore, M/M, Multi, Sex, Spoilers, Time Travel, Violence, What the hell is in the basement
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-20
Updated: 2014-06-20
Packaged: 2018-02-05 11:59:26
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1817701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangeandintoxicating/pseuds/Strange%20and%20Intoxicating%20-rsa-
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: After Eren's brutal death at the hands of the Beast Titan, Levi finds the truth in the basement in Shiganshina... the truth that will change the tides of the war. And time, time can change. Returned to Trost. Returned to change the future. </p><p>And the motley group of broken soldiers that went with him? </p><p>Who knew.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Starving Wolves

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for all written chapters in the manga, but does not necessarily follow any of them past Chapter 40 or so. The history of the four years between where this story begins and where the manga currently is, deviates significantly. Note that Hange will be considered under both gender pronouns, but I will admit I'm more prone to use female pronouns when writing from Levi's perspective.
> 
> Chapter notes: Please note that this is not a kind chapter or introduction. To be fair to the characters, by the point they're in, there's barely even a glimmer of hope. So, their response when they lose it... It won't be kind. Warnings for blood, gore, violence, and major character death.

 

Death hurt.

It was such an obvious thing, but to Levi, death was something he had long ago accepted as part of his life. Having been the leader of the Special Ops squad in a regiment that had a death toll averaging at about sixty percent, he knew death would come for him. It wouldn't come as a thief in the night (Levi was aware of how to kill in his sleep, and had since he was old enough to know how to rip insides out from sternum to groin) or as a peaceful friend.

Death was a gush, a rip, a broken body, a bleeding corpse of meat and viscera. Death was not kind, it was not sweet, and it certainly was not clean.

Levi was the best, “Humanity's Strongest”, but even that would not protect him from hands of death.

And he went out fighting.

It began like such a normal day, for a war that had waged long before his birth. The world had been dreary place for so long that when the sun rose, he remembered how beautiful it was. He normally awoke at dawn and went about his daily routine: Gather himself and his thoughts, get out of bed, prepare a bath and his clothes for the day, clean the room while the water ran, bathe, then carefully dress, quiet not to wake Eren, who was peacefully sleeping on his side of the bed. He would wake the man quietly with a kiss on the forehead, the same every morning since he'd taken up residence in the Commander's Quarters.

And Levi would run his hands through Eren's hair to help tease the last bit of sleep from his eyes, a twinge at his lips while Eren would wake.

But that morning, he had taken time to watch the sun rise over the wall. The sky was already shades of baby blue, like the waters Eren's friend Armin (who had been nothing but a splatter on the grass only the summer before. He had used the last of his strength to get the attention of the Beast Titan, allowing the Special Ops squad the chance to escape with the secret weapon.) used to spend so much time talking about. The ever-elusive 'ocean'. Levi didn't really give two shits about the ocean, or the towns made of glass and metal a thousand feet in the sky, or the snow-capped mountains that spewed red fire. To him, it was a fairytale from a book and he was just a man stuck with a lover filled with wanderlust.

However, with Eren's friend's death came the inability to even mutter the word, the dream he had wanted so long ago.

But Levi watched the sky as the little puffs of white stroked by the blue, and it was impossible to see the rising of the sun against the horizon. It was one of the saddest parts of living behind Wall Rose; it was so rare to truly see the sun rise. They hadn't even left the confines of Wall Maria since Shiganshina fell, and it was hard to remember what it was like to watch the creeping glow of pinks and blues against the orange-gold and yellows.

It was the morning of the Sixty-Second Expedition and even with their things packed and ready to head to Shiganshina, Levi had a feeling something would not go quite right. It was like he was missing something, like he had forgotten the most important thing.

So, he stood watching the sun rise until he could hear Eren's breathing slow and then pick up with a grunt as the last tendrils of sleep let him go.

“What's wrong.”

It wasn't a question so much as a statement. Leave it to the brat to know when he was unsettled.

“I feel like I'm forgetting something,” Levi said as he put his hand on the linen curtains, holding them between his index and thumb, running the pads of his fingers against the fabric. “It's really damn important, too.”

“Did you forget it's my birthday?” Eren asked coyly.

Levi turned his head, a smirk crossing his lips for a moment. “I couldn't forget that even if I tried, you little shit,” he murmured. “I gave you your present last night. Don't get greedy.” Levi turned his head to see the other man's face as the light from the window began to clear some of the shadows from the corners of the room. Eren was busying himself, wiping the sleep from his eyes in quick motions with the back of his hand. The crisp white sheets pooled around his waist.“It's nothing like that... it's a feeling that there's something--”

“Don't say it.” Eren lifted himself from the covers and slung his feet over the side of the bed. “Don't say it, it's not good luck.” In his age, Eren had grown tall and muscular, but had also grown a fear of the unknown, like a child telling scary stories in the barracks and hoping the ghosts did not find him. Even at the age of nineteen, Eren was superstitious. “Don't say a damn word.”

Levi never understood it, but he had long ago learned to accept it for what it was and to move on. “Fine, you little freak,” Levi grumbled as he pulled open the curtains and thumbing open the hatches of the window. When the brisk spring air his his cheeks, he breathed it in like it was the last breaths on earth. “We're leaving in half an hour. Take a bath, there should be plenty of warm water.”

Eren nodded his head, his longer, shaggy brown hair hitting his chin. Levi liked order, but it was impossible not to appreciate what age had done for Eren. Gone was the baby-faced smoothness, the gentle slopes of barely-defined muscle and the planes on unblemished skin. Levi could barely remember a time where Eren had been anything but hard, warm body, the stubble of a day's late shave on his cheek and the warmth that only a titan shifter could manage without being brain dead. Even if his hair was too long and unruly, Levi couldn't find it in himself to ask Eren to cut it or change it. 

Levi turned back to the window as Eren slipped out of the bed and went into the bathroom to shower. What was he forgetting. What was he not remembering?

* * *

 

The plan was anything but simple, but it should have been feasible.

The Survey Corps had already been reduced to a bare number of soldiers after the Sixtieth Expedition. They had lost all but fifty in the space of two days to a titan horde led by what Levi knew to be the Beast Titan and its minions. The deaths had been all but meaningless, and with the brutal annihilation of over seventy five percent of the Survey Corps, they had fallen completely out of favor with the men behind Wall Sina. Erwin has been executed for his failures, broken neck swinging from the gallows. An already broken man ended in the most undignified way Levi could think of, with his one good arm tied to his belt and head tilted at such an unnatural angle. It didn't help that the King ordered his body to be left there until the birds had feasted upon his flesh and only bones and blond hair remained.

Yet they needed the Survey Corps to continue on, if for nothing but the chance to remind people that they had its thumb on humanity's pulse. The fear of death, of being sent to the Survey Corps, prevented the world behind the walls from falling to pieces. They had, with no better option, put Levi of all people in charge, as he was the last living member of what was known as the “Old Corps” to survive. He was the only one left.

It had taken everything in him to prevent full-on rebellion against Mitras, and despite the fact that he would have loved nothing more than popping the head of the false King like a tick. But it had been Eren and his remaining men that kept him from losing the last semblance of humanity continue forward. He could worry about destroying the Monarchy and the corrupt government after destroying the titans.

It was from the information he had gained only after Erwin's death that changed their chances, gave them a fighting chance to get back to Shinganshina, to get into that fucking basement.

Tunnels.

According to the Military Police, it has been a secret operation started back in the 810s to get the King and the Military Police from district to district, allowing them the chance to move within the walls without the other divisions knowing. It was never finished, having to go down over twenty meters into the ground, but the spiderweb of tunnels did lead to Wall Maria. Unfortunately, it had not led directly to Shiganshina, but it was close enough that the Survey Corps would arrive within a few hours with the use of little, fast-speeding carts propelled under the surface. Levi hadn't believed it at first; why would the government hide such a device? They could have sealed off the holes in Wall Maria if they had known, they could have prevented the deaths of countless civilians and soldiers. They could have saved the Sixtieth Expedition.

It would leave them at a significant disadvantage, though; there would be no horses, and they only had what they could carry. The tunnel would lead to a small area near the wall. If they wanted in, and not have to worry about the legions of titans waiting for another meal, they would have to climb onto the wall, and then walk to Shiganshina. It wasn't perfect at all—the idea of carrying enough gas and equipment on their backs to get to Shiganshina was a terrifying prospect, but there had been two trips to help deliver supplies to the wall and the small encampment near Shiganshina. What was there would have to do.

Because of the danger, Levi chose to only bring the Special Ops squad and their secret weapon along. Hange would take care of the base, in case they never came back. Hange was under strict orders to immediately oblige the Military Police if the expedition was a bloodbath, and then get his men the fuck out of the military's path. They didn't have the strength to fight the military and the government; it would be better for them to either go peacefully or hide in the Underground. Levi had given Hange a map (she stared at it, repeated rattling off questions about where to go, who to avoid, and who to kill if need be) and then had hugged him, hard.

“I don't want to be Commander, Captain,” Hange said, and Levi could feel the rattling of Hange's breath and the beating of her heart against his skin. They had always been close; he had met Hange when he first entered the Corps. She was the most unique person he had met: The passion for titans, the science of it all, the questionable morals and ethics, the consistent change of speech, even the need for breaking etiquette and grabbing her commanding officer. Hange had even been the first person Levi had (grudgingly and against his will, he had to admit to himself) told about Eren. He trusted Hange implicitly and without question. If the Survey Corps went to hell in a handbasket, the only person he trusted to take care of his men was Hange.

And as for their secret weapon... Levi could have scoffed. It had taken Bertolt Hoover's head being removed from his shoulders and swallowed by the Beast Titan for the Armored Titan's human counterpart to realize that being for humanity was worth more than whatever tied him to the Beast Titan. Revenge was best served in a pile of pulpy titan, anyway.

Levi had originally not wanted to let Braun anywhere near his squad. The Armored Titan had led directly to the deaths of his comrades, to Wall Maria's punctured and titan-exposed side, to over 200,000 casualties. Braun had nearly gotten Eren killed, more than once. His mad spells, forgetting he was a titan-shifter, pretending to be a human being...

He was a danger to himself and to others.

When he had come to Wall Rose and snuck into the Castle, Levi had nearly taken his head on site. Commander Erwin had allowed the little fuck to live, had chained him in the basement like the animal he was, and had questioned him over and over again. There was guilt, deeper than humanity's despair, and it had taken Reiner nearly getting himself killed on numerous occasions to be even mildly trusted by Levi. There would never be full trust, it would be damn near impossible, but if he was able to keep his head on his shoulders and fight against the Titans, he would have to take it. There wasn't time to be picky... and, it was Erwin's last act before the Sixtieth Expedition.

The other Survey Corps members pretended like Reiner was not there; it was easier than fighting, and easier than dealing with his insecurities and guilt. No one wanted to hear whatever the fuck Reiner had going on in his head. Sometimes, when he would break and think he was nothing but a soldier and ask where his friends were and why no one would talk to him, it would take Mikasa telling him what he had done to get rid of his sad, sappy ass. He would then hide himself in the his chains and refuse to eat, to fight, to move.

Levi didn't have enough fucks to give about Braun's feelings, but he knew he had to use the man to the best of his capabilities if they wanted to win against the Beast Titan.

So, the tunnels.

Levi muttered as he gripped his 3DM gear, looking around the small gas-powered cart. There was enough room on the cart for the members of the squad to fit in uncomfortably with their gear. Eren at his left, Braun at his right, and then Mikasa, Connie Springer, Jean Kirstein, Sasha Blouse, Lauda, and two new recruits that had shown some skill at things other than getting eaten. He had wanted Reiss and Ymir on this mission, but they needed at least one titan-shifter to stay with Hange, and if he brought Reiss along, Ymir never would have stayed. This was lively a suicide mission, either way. And, Levi grudgingly admitted, Reiss was likely the only person alive with a legitimate claim to the throne, so keeping her out of danger on this mission was probably for the best.

The jolting and squealing of the cart made his stomach churn in on itself. It was absolutely nothing like what it was like flying through the air in maneuver gear. This was ragged and forced and very, very uncomfortable. The dirt falling from above certainly didn't make it any better, and he had caught himself more than once forcefully shaking his head of the falling debris. Eren had even laughed once, reaching up to comb out a particularly difficult chunk that had gotten caught.

The other members of the Special Ops squad tried hard to not pay Eren or Levi any mind. They were all well aware of the relationship between “Humanity's Last Hope” and “Humanity's Strongest” despite their attempts long ago to keep it quiet. But, after a year or two of pretending nothing was going on, both had just easily slipped into the open. It was hard to pretend they hadn't been living in the same small room, either way. While never obnoxious about it, the occasional touch to the back of Levi's neck or the brief touching of hands was enough for the others to know for certain.

“Commander, can you explain the plans?” Sasha Blouse asked after a particularly shaky section of track made even Reiner's face turn pale with sickness. Levi looked up to the woman, who had changed so much from the constantly hungry and obnoxious child she had been only a few years before. She didn't look like herself any longer, either. Gone was the sweet doe-eyed face he'd long ago accepted as one of the better and most resourceful members of his squad, and in its place was something all together different.

On a mission outside the walls, a titan had grabbed Sasha by the hair, and rather than be eaten, she had taken her blade to her own head, taking off an ear and skin from forhead to neck. It had taken weeks for Sasha to wake, and then even longer for the skin to heal into a patchwork of scars and skin. It was fucking hackjob, but she had survived. Still, it was unsettling to most people not well-acquainted with the bright, cheerful woman.

They were all pretty fucking mangled, but no one was as bad as Sasha. Even Jean, who had damn near lost his eye from a gunshot to the face, paled in comparison. Mentally, though? Levi didn't even want to fucking think about it.

“We'll be arriving at a small camp near the base of Wall Maria within the next hour. The base doesn't have much available, as we've already transported most of the gear to where we've set up camp. We'll be walking the wall until we arrive at Shiganshina. There should be only three miles of clear coverage, so we should be able to arrive very quickly. After, we will be splitting into two teams--” Levi looked up at this, noting how Connie looked like we was going to throw a fit at the mere thought. “I'll be taking Blouse, Braun, Lauda, and Marks with me to clear the area. We need to keep a watch out for the Beast Titan, and need to make sure he doesn't fuck everything up. We need to make a clear path to Yeager's home. When we're done, I'll fire up a blue flare. Keep on your toes.

“Eren's squad will be working on getting into the fucking basement. I don't care what you do, you get down there and get everything needed. Don't dally, we don't have time for it. Load your bags with whatever looks important and then get back. You're not going to have much extra fuel on you, so don't fuck around. Get in, get out, and we should be able to keep the titans off you. When you start, shoot up a green flare. When you're done, go with the yellow. Ackerman,” Levi looked at her and nodded. _Don't let my brat get himself killed_. She didn't even need to voice it out loud; she nodded her head and set her face into a stony scowl. “Try not to engage the titans unless absolutely necessary. If anything feels weird, get out. If you see the Beast, get the fuck out and shoot up a red. If anything else goes wrong, like an abnormal shows, shoot black.”

There were no questions about the formation. It had taken him and Eren fumbling over Armin's old notes about one of the earlier failed expeditions to come up with the idea. It wasn't even a difficult plan, but it was based completely on their capability to get in and out of Shiganshina as quickly as possible. “If it goes too long, I'll shoot the blue flare. If you see it, it means get back to base. Don't try to be heroes, and don't do anything stupid.” He aimed that particular comment to Eren. Whatever he felt for the other man be damned, Eren needed to come back whole.

It was his fucking birthday.

“Understood.”

* * *

 

It hadn't gone to plan. It hadn't gone to fucking plan. 

It started off just fine. Levi took his squad and quickly began the act of disposing of any of the titans that could potentially cause any real damage to Eren or the expedition. There were a few ten-meters that had taken a swing at them, as well as a dozen or so five-meter fucks who had tried to gang up on Lauda for a nice meal. The smaller, baby titans weren't even worth the slice to the neck, but they were easily dispatched of, too.

Levi had already gone through three tanks (not worried since there were still two tanks attached to his gear, with Marks on the run back and forth with more in case anyone ran out) and two blades, but he was feeling comfortable. Nothing had shown up that he deemed particularly threatening, and they had cleared the way to the basement in good time. While he knew better than to get cocky about it, since any time he felt confident in a mission it turned sour, it was hard to deny that he was confident in the way things were turning. He had already fired a blue flare into the sky, and it didn't take long for Eren to fire off a green soon after. He had even seen Eren soar beside him, smirking as his long hair was pulled back by the wind, before disappearing down a different block as Levi ran his blade through the necks of an abnormal twelve-meter who had taken to climbing on the roofs.

He had even foolishly thought that they would make it back before nightfall. Hange had gotten a roast for him and Eren that night as a gift. She said it would be there whenever they were ready for it.

Making plans. Trying to be normal. Trying to be fucking happy.

Yet the plans went to hell the minute that a black flare went up in the air, and then quickly a red. Levi felt blood in his ears as he flew forward, disengaging the grapple hooks and shooting them out again, going lower to avoid the whirring of the others in his squad above him.

Then it was like the entire sky had filled with blood, because hadn't Levi only given Eren one red flare? Why was the sky painted red?

He had looked up then to realize that Marks was above him, and that he was missing both of his legs. His equipment kept going, though, and Levi had to snap his gear to the side when he realized the fifteen-meter abnormal that was quickly gaining ground on him, Marks blood still splashed across its face. He had to wipe his face from the blood, and had to bite back a scream as he felt the warm red liquid run down his chest and into his gear. He barely managed to disengage his grapple from a breaking house to turn it in the direction of the fifteen-meter. He didn't have time to be dealing with an abnormal, not with that red flare in the sky.

The titan's mouth was wide and filled with sharp teeth, the body emaciated and naked. Levi had always wondered the truth behind the titans, but now wasn't the time to think. It was time to act.

He shot the grappling hook into the titan's eye, a quick shot if he ever was, and felt himself soaring through the air, shooting his other into the skull. He managed to avoid the thing's teeth and laid a clean swipe to its neck with both blades before quickly shooting off in the direction of the Yeager household.

Blouse, Braun and Lauda followed him, and he could tell that Reiner was gearing up to transform. It took a simple, “Not yet!” for him to remember his place. It wasn't the right time to Titan out. They needed to access the situation before doing anything.

That was until they had arrived at the Yeager household, the only place of commotion in all of Shiganshina.

There was blood everywhere. It had only taken a second to realize that Springer had already been torn in half with his entrails spread across the broken block, the only thing left of what had to have been Kirstein was a squished pulp of meat, and the new recruit wasn't even to be seen. Mikasa and Eren, though, were in the hands of the Beast Titan. Mikasa was already gone; she had been squeezed so hard her eyes had popped out of her skull and brain matter oozed out of eye sockets and ears.

_**Fuck, Eren.**_

Eren was in the other hand, held tight enough to have difficulty breathing but not enough to pop him, like the Beast had done to Mikasa. He had one hand outside of the Beast's grip though, and he had that fucking key dangling from his fingers. He tossed it toward Levi, screaming. The key dropped to the ground, but Levi couldn't go toward it. He had never frozen before, no matter what he had seen. He'd never frozen, but that scream... that fucking scream. He dropped both of his swords and rolled to the ground at the titan's feet.

Eren was screaming so loudly as the Beast Titan laughed and threw him into his gaping maw, crunching down again and again... again and again, before spitting the remains toward Levi. Red globs and a chunk of long brown hair smacked onto Levi's uniform as he inhaled pieces of Eren.

This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

“You failed. Humanity's last hope has failed.” The Beast Titan laughed, and laughed, and laughed. And all Levi could do was hold his hand over the pieces of Eren scattered across the ground, in his hair, in his mouth, across his shirt. That stupid fucking key glinted in the viscera and gore.

He wasn't the type to freeze, but there wasn't anything worth living for. The fucking ugly monster was right; there wasn't any hope.

Levi could hear fighting going on around him as Reiner transformed and changed into Titan form, and he could hear the blood-curdling screams ripping from Sasha's mouth as she attacked, but for the first time in a long time, Levi couldn't fight. He couldn't even pick up his swords.

He put one hand across his chest, cradling the meat and hair and bone fragments as he leaned forward and picked up the key. It was like the earth had turned to monochrome and blood, and that key was the only thing giving off a color other than red. He reached into the gore and pulled out the key, using his knees to bring him closer to what Levi could only assume was the house Eren had grown up in, warm and cared for. He tried to swallow back the bile in this throat as he gripped the key and pieces of Eren closer. He could feel metal digging into his palm and bone fragments in the other. He didn't even know what he was doing, but that basement, whatever was in there... it was important. Eren needed him to find out what was in that fucking basement.

_Eren's dead. Eren doesn't give a shit what's in the basement._

He couldn't have died for nothing, it was too fucking cruel. This world was too fucked up, too far gone, but this? This was a cosmic joke.

Levi couldn't even get to the feet as he rolled himself down the hole Eren and the others had dug to get to the basement. He could see the door, a wooden door that barely needed a key to open, it was rotted down and when Levi forced the key into the door, it was amazing it could even open. Not letting go of what was left of Eren, he hit the door with his shoulder, getting it open with a single push.

And that's when it hit him, what he had forgotten that morning. What he never forgot to do.

He hadn't kissed Eren good morning. What a stupid thing to forget. What a stupid, shitty thing to forget. It was Eren's fucking birthday, he was nineteen. It was his fucking...

He hadn't kissed Eren goodbye.

A wave of emotion crashed into Levi and it took all of his strength to get to his feet, shaking as he looked around the room. Dust had settled into the floorboards, the room dark and smelling of decay. If this had been any other time, he would have had the strongest desire to clean the room. If it had been any other fucking room, he would have needed to dust and clean and get down on his fucking knees and scrub until his hands were bloody.

Now, the sight of it just made him want to scream, but instead he laughed. He laughed up at the ceiling, thick roots already breaking their way in from the bricks.

He was breaking apart into little pieces.

Levi wrapped the key around his wrist as he laughed, feeling the metal give way under his fingers and snap.

There was nothing in the fucking basement.

Levi hadn't known what he expected, but this definitely wasn't it. Maybe a laboratory, filled with titan pieces and a code on what they were and how to destroy them all. A weapon that would give humanity a fighting chance. Maybe even Doctor Yeager himself, cowering in the corner with a serum that would turn the titan into humans, had they been humans to begin with.

The basement must have been cleared out some time ago, because the only thing there was a little leather-bound notebook on the floor near a toppled-over bookshelf. There wasn't even a flask to be seen.

 _The key to saving the world, my ass. Eren, your father was wrong._ Levi gripped what was left of Eren tighter as he fell to his knees. The only thing he could do was reach forward and grab the notebook. The bottom of the key fell with a clang to the wood, but the decorative diamond-shaped handle dug deeper into his skin.

Levi could barely even read the script, only able to look at the book. His hands were shaking too hard to read more than a line:

_This is humanity's only chance... a burden too great... use this to remember... break the seal... think, Eren.... before this began... most important... save the human race... break the seal. Remember._

That was it.

The fuck?

Levi closed the book and slammed it on the ground. Fucking Grisha, that useless bastard. Eren was fucking dead. Eren couldn't break seals. He couldn't stand. He couldn't even breathe.

Levi lifted both hands to his face, feeling The warmth of his own blood and what was left of Eren. He tried to smell the man's shampoo from the tangle of brown, but all he could smell was blood.

“Commander! Fuck, Commander!” Levi was pulled up with shaky hands, realizing that it was Jean Kirstein—hadn't he been smeared on the streets? It must have been the rookie—and looked at the other man. He almost laughed at the terror over Kirstein's face. What a fucking horror show he must have looked, covered in blood and laughing. But the other man said nothing as he noted the dark hair against Levi's cheek and the blood gushing from his hand.

To be honest, he hadn't hear a thing until Kirstein had grabbed him. But now, he could hear his laughter from his own mouth and the sound of angry giants above. He could hear the bricks above coming loose and falling with cracks and thuds. Fuck, he could even hear Sasha screaming and the sound of titan flesh against armored flesh. And he had still laughed, because what else could he possibly do other than laugh? Crying wasn't exactly an option, was it?

Kirstein had him up, and he had grabbed the book, but that only made Levi laugh even harder. There was nothing in there, nothing. Fucking nothing. They were all going to fucking die and that motherfucker would win. He'd killed Eren (what was that choking in the back of his throat? What was it?) and that was it. Game over.

He'd been pulled out of the basement and when he saw day, he could see a bleeding Reiner holding Sasha, who was on her knees next to Connie's torn corpse. Levi had to force himself to look away from the pile of evisceration the Beast Titan had spit up. Instead, he could see Lauda's head on the roof of a nearby house. Just his head. His hand tightened on the long brown hair, and when Kirstein knew they were out of imminent threat, put him down.

He had stopped laughing.

“I think the Commander's lost it,” Jean said to Reiner, who didn't look away from the screaming and sobbing Sasha, who was trying to put Connie's insides back under his skin. Levi watched her with a sick fascination as her fingers ran over Springer's entrails. He could see that the intestines had been ripped in half and there was just no way she would be able to put him back together.

There was no way he could put Eren back together.

Death was not kind, but he was still breathing.

It was bullshit.

Levi made sure not to look at what was left of Eren, but he wasn't quite sure what else he could see. There was Mikasa's broken body, the red scarf around her neck turning brown from the blood. There was Connie. There was the crushed form of the new kid—Jacobs. He'd had talent. He could have been good. Did he have a mother? Most of the Survey Corps had family left, family who would worry. People who cared and loved and cherished.

And it sunk into Levi's gut like a stone. This was what the end of the world looked like, because when he died, they would all be forgotten. Every hand he'd held on the battlefield, every insignia he cut from a uniform, every smile, every kiss. With him, they would be nothing but names in a logbook for some shitstain to record. Levi remembered their faces, remembered their dying breaths, remembered every dimple and goddamn kiss.

“Commander...” Kirstein said, a note of unease in his voice. It was hard to look away from the broken street and the blood, and even harder to keep his head up. Levi was getting tired and keeping his eyes open was beginning to be difficult. It even seemed that Blouse wasn't crying anymore, and Braun wasn't even breathing.

When had the world turned red?  
  
“What did you do, Jean?” Levi asked as he turned, seeing Jean on his knees, staring down in absolute horror at whatever he was holding in his hands.

Levi could feel the world going hazy and little specks of red were dotting his vision. “What did you do, Captain?” Levi yawned, and if he had better control of himself, he would have known that this wasn't normal, this wasn't safe. He was falling asleep in the middle of a fucking destroyed city, holding the scalp of his dead lover while titans were sure to be nearby. But he could barely find himself able to care. This world was shit, and sleep sounded like a better option than staying awake.

Death was not kind, but sleep could be.

“I broke the seal, Co..command... commander...” Levi blinked slowly as Jean slumped forward and landed with a thud, face falling on what was left of Connie's chest. The blood splattered against the man's pale skin like freckles. “I couldn't st—”

 _What seal?_  

Levi finally felt his body going slump as the rest of color bled from his eyes, and the last thing Levi saw was Eren.

* * *

 

Levi felt a body next to his, and in the darkness, he could only think that it had been a terrible, shitty nightmare.

When he opened his eyes he would be in the Commander's quarters and Eren would be sleeping half naked, chest and thighs exposed under his crisp white sheers. Eren's brown hair would be fanned across the pillowcases and his hand would be tucked under his cheek, like he'd always slept. He would he whole and his insides where they were supposed to be, and Levi would look at him and kiss him, hard, because hadn't it been Eren's birthday, and hadn't Levi forgotten to kiss him awake? And then, they'd bathe and really, fuck the mission, whatever was in the basement wasn't important. It could wait because today was Eren's nineteenth birthday and he was alive and whole and real, so fucking real. And Levi would bury his face in that mop of hair and just breathe in the smell of cheap soap and mint toothpaste and they would be fucking lucky if they even left the room.

But when Levi opened his eyes, it wasn't where he should have been. It wasn't the Commander's quarters in the castle, and it wasn't the middle of the street in Shiganshina with little pieces of Eren in his hair.

This couldn't be right. It couldn't be real.

The sun was barely rising in the sky but the room was bright, the white paint of the walls contrasting with the wooden furniture, and Levi had to stare at the window in confusion. The window was closed, but the view outside wasn't the expanse of green he had grown accustomed to. No, it was the view of another building with a brown, slanted roof. Even the lock was busted, the little sliver of metal barely keeping the thing closed. He had always said he would figure out a way to get someone to fix it if it started causing issues, but there hadn't been a reason after Trost was destroyed. His apartment sure as fuck hadn't survived the titan attack of 850. They hadn't even begun returning to Trost; too much death and the cost was far too high. It was easier just to pick up the pieces and leave, go to one of the other districts further inside Wall Rose.

Something caught in Levi's throat as a hand wrapped itself around his waist, and that wasn't a hand he'd felt in years. This couldn't be, this wasn't right.

What the fuck was going on.

Levi steeled himself as a soft head of strawberry blonde hair laid itself on his shoulder. He didn't even need to see it to know it was her. He'd never really been into women, but she had been a sore spot for many years after her death. She had been the first time Levi had tried to open himself to the idea of romance. And, it had been seeing her body broken and battered at the foot of that tree, blood seeping like sap down the bark and puddling in the grass like rainwater, that had made him pull Yeager in for a long, hard kiss just weeks later. Because Eren had been warm, and he had been real, and he'd been so _alive_ and goddamn _defiant_ that it made Levi's whole being ache.

And that little shit had wormed his way in, and Levi couldn't even find it in him to stop, because life was fleeting and fragile.

“Captain, what's wrong?”

Levi swallowed and reached for the edge of the bed, but realized as he put his hand down that something was in his left palm.

He gingerly raised his hand and opened his hand, seeing the sparkle of the broken key handle and the black cord slip between his fingers and into the sheets. The pattern of the diamond had burned into his hand, but he couldn't feal any pain. It was like a barely-healed scar that was ready to rip itself open if he dared to open his palm wide. Yet, when he did the skin just rippled.

Petra had leaned forward to touch the cord, but Levi had snapped it up, cradling it in his palm and holding it to his chest. “It's... it's fine, Petra,” he said and he forced himself to breathe through his nose. “It's going to be fine.”


End file.
